Sometimes I feel like if I just sleep more, I'll wake up. Sounds fucked up right? But I've had so many dreams where they were alive, that this was all just the most horrible nightmare my brain had ever cooked up. After all, every mother is terrified of something happening to her children, right?
I don't want this life. I want the dreams, where my babies are still alive, no one has ever hurt them. Because this can't be real, they can't be gone. They are so beautiful, so perfect, so vibrant how can they not be alive? Dead? Not my babies! Not my little loves, my brats, my rugrats, my angels, minemineminemmine
They never let me see the bodies. Said it was too horrible for me to see. Would it have helped? Can anything help?